The following scripts are all available to buy and use. Read the blurb and see if they are of any use. 

Scroll down the page to see the full range

WARNING: ONLY PURCHASE IF A SENSE OF HUMOUR IS AVAILABLE! 

Scripts are available as a .pdf that you can save, print or just throw orange peel at. If you can't read it, then you need to download a pdf reader such as Adobe reader (every home should have one!).


 

Christmas-Why do we do that?
Written as a mock TV documentary with plenty of laughs but lots of real factual information about Christmas traditions. With the addition of some simple costumes and some songs/music this one proved a real hit with kids, parents, teachers and several pigeons!


 
 
 
 

'Twas the fright before Christmas 
A Christmas tale of extremely ungrateful children who get taught a lesson at the hands of a reformed Scrooge, with a good few laughs built in. There are two versions of this, the original rhyming couplet poem so that you can see and hear its rhythm and the scripted version that you can use for performance and allocating parts. 

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The Naked Truth - A mockumentary about the Ancient Olympics 
A short comic play about the novelty of the first Olympic games in Ancient Greece. Part of this play lends itself to a bit of movie making that you can insert into the performance. I did it in a speeded up 'Goodies/Benny Hill seventies style that worked really well although you could do it as a black and white silent. The possibilities are endless and exciting!!! You could make a film out of the whole thing - and don't worry, all nakedness is heavily censored (which is more than can be said for Ancient Greek pottery!!) £3.99

 


Heaven, Earth and a horse of wood 
An epic tale of Ancient Greece. Unusually for me, this has five scenes and almost constitutes an complete play. This is really funny and is a great excuse for going mental with costumes, scenery, music, sound effects and jokes about olives. Just make sure that you have a shed load of white bed sheets before you start! £4.99

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Girl in Da Hoodie 
There have been many alternatives to the Little Red Riding story, and quite a few with a tough, no-nonsense main character. This one worked well in an end of year review and got lots of laughs. The Grandma and woodcutter characters worked really well.  £4.99

 
 

 
 

Sherlock Holmes and the mystery of the Aquilla Diamond 
Written in the style of a “Round the Horn” or “Goon Show” radio script, this has worked really well in a number of end of year reviews. It contains a few old jokes but it still makes me laugh ten years on! If the actors have good timing and can “over-act” it helps. 


 
 



What on Earth is the matter? 
This is a piece about the environmental destruction of our planet, with a few laughs and plenty of word puns of course! More of a long sketch than a short play. This could be used as part of a larger show or assembly that has the same theme or message.


 
 
 

 

Eureka! Eureka! Inventions and discoveries through the ages
Written to accompany a ‘Britain since 1948’ history topic, this little epic does stray outside the timescale a little (JUST A LITTLE!) It can be used as a stand alone fun drama or assembly, or possibly a teaching resource (you could print it out and do handwriting practice on the back!) There are loads of parts so it is useful for a class. 

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Goodnight Mr Hitler 
If you are doing WWII as a topic, you will look at evacuees at some point. This playlet depicts loony villagers debating whether to take evacuees from the big City into their homes. A bit like 12 angry men, the whole lot are eventually brought round by the lone voice of sanity, the billeting officer. Set at Christmas but could be used any time. Needs a solo singer to make it really effective.

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Den of Dragons 
This is a parody of a well known TV show where budding entrepreneurs squirm for money to fund their projects from miserly businessmen and women. Its based on children coming into ‘the Den’ (as it shall henceforth be known) and asking for money for new toys. If the actors can do accents, it makes the whole thing a lot funnier.

 
 
 

Riddle in the dark - A Hobbit adventure 
This is a three character mini-play, one scene, quite a bit of dialogue and quite a challenge. There are however, some great lines, and the characters are well known. Probably best done as a radio style play with the scripts in front of the actors or as a stimulus for writing parodies in an English lesson. You could record it and add sound effects for fun. I’d like to hear it if you do.


 
 

 

A brief history of nits 
A short sketch originally written as an extra scene in a published end of year 6 play. All about the experience of nits (something close to the heart of all schoolkids!) It works just as well stand alone for a bit of comedy and good fun!

 

 
 


Rodney 'n' Jules - A modern scene from a balcony 

A parody of the famous scene from Shakespeare, originally performed directly after a performance of the original scene. Quite short and only has three parts, so you might want to combine it with other stuff. Does have a grandma that buries bones though.


 



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